Why I gave a seven-year-old boy the finger
Sometimes, little kids and I do not get along. I think it is probably because we are both very childish, and they seem to be under the impression that I am an adult. What little kids need to realize is that how old you are has nothing to do with whether or not you are an adult. Over the years, this 'problem' I have with some little kids has caused me to do such things as come running out of my house in order to chase them away from my leaf pile.. I was the one who raked the lawn, I was the one who made the giant pile, so I am sure as hell going to be the one to jump in that mother fucking pile - not some little kid who lives down the street from me, and obviously does not realize that it is rude to run onto someone else's lawn and jump in their hard earned leaf pile.
Today, my clashing with a child lead to me giving him the finger - but I can explain.....
I was sitting, politely, in one of my dad's work trucks. We were on our way to a park so that I could take a picture of my dad with his truck for the yellow pages. I was also enjoying a brownie blizzard (yes, that now brings my brownie blizzard consumption up to two!), and was generally just minding my own business. That is when we came to a stop at a traffic light. Now, I am inquisitive by nature, so I began to look around at the other cars. That is when I saw him... This blonde haired boy, roughly seven years old. He looked at me and proceeded to stick out his tongue. First I was shocked, why would he just stick his tongue out at me? I had never done anything to him... But I was not going to be out done by a seven-year-old just because I was confused as to what his motives were, so I stuck my tongue out at him and scrunched up my face. To my utter shock and dismay, he began to sign the official ASL sign for 'asshole' and pointed at me. 'Fuck that!' I thought, 'I will give him some sign language of my own.'
And so, I gave him the finger, and that is when the light turned green, and that is when my dad accelerated, and that is when that little boys parents looked at me like I had just run down their dog.
'Are you proud of yourself now?' You may think. 'Does this make you feel like a big person?' You may also think. The answer to that question is simple, yes, it does.


Kim said...

OMG Megan, I can't stop laughing! That is hilarious. What makes it more funny is how proud you are of what you did. Hey you're not alone, I've done the same thing before. Just because I have kids doesn't mean I love all kids LOL There are a lot of little shits out there!

Megan said...

I am proud of myself for that, I pretty much always am when I do something like that. I was especially proud of myself after I chased the kids away from me leaf pile last year. My mom was mortified, but I was proud.

you know who said...

What a little fucker. I would have done the same except I would have rolled down my window to let his parents know as well. lol