I'm druuuuuuuuuuuuunk

The kind of drunk where you look up and it feels like the world is literally falling to the ground around you. Where you're not sure that you can stay upright because, holy fuck, gravity really does exist and it is making its presence known right this very second.
Sure, I should have known this was coming. I mean, I did eight or nine shots, following two drinks in which Absinthe played a fairly large part as far as ingredients go. And yet, still, I am somewhat shocked that I am actually this drunk.

Things I have already accomplished this evening:

Took dogs out for their evening walks
Wrestled puppy (and won)
Showed affection to older dog
Did dishes
Text messaged brother, quasi-boyfriend and mentee... did not confuse the three when messaging. Believe me, that could have ended badly if I had.


At Least I Wasn't Naked...

"MeeeeeeEeeeeeeeeEeeeeeeeEeeeeeeeEeeeeeeEeeeeeeeEeeeeeee annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd Mrs. Jones. Mrs. Jones. Mrs. Jones. Mrs. Jones. Mrs. Jones. We got a thingggggggggggggggggggg going onnnnnnnnnnnnnnn. And it's.... it's much tooooooooooooo strong to let. it. go. noooooooooooooow...." I sang into my parents' refrigerator. "We meet every..."

"Hello?" called my father, concern evident in his voice, interrupting my musical interlude.

I paused. My head still in the fridge.

I hadn't realized that anyone was home.

It was Sunday morning, and, on my way to their house, I had to drive past my parents' church. Their car was in the parking lot. I had assumed they were both there. I had, clearly, assumed incorrectly.

"Oh, hi, Dad," I covered, "I was just singing to myself." If I say it out loud, it is way less embarrassing and I can pretend like I am not remotely self conscious about having been caught.

"What are you looking for?" my dad asked.

"Breakfast," I replied and continued my perusal of what groceries they did have. "It looks like I am going to have to find that somewhere else though."