It's really only a matter of time....

Sometimes I dream about it.

Sitting there in all its glory. Haunting me.

It would be so easy to give in. Just once. Who would know? What harm would it do?  But even thoughts of it leave me feeling dirty. Scandalous even. It's been so long. I scarcely remember much about it.

Steak. Chicken. Hamburgers.... Meat.

I am not really a vegetarian. I eat fish. Fish is an animal. When people say, "I'm a vegetarian for ethical reasons. I don't eat meat, just fish," I feel an overwhelming urge to slap them in the face. I don't though, but only because I know I would probably get in trouble for doing so. Instead, I gently explain to them that fish are in fact sentient beings. People whose ethics are situational annoy me. I am sure that, if you consulted both a fish and a cow, both animals would find the prospect of being eaten unappealing.

"I don't eat mammals, birds, amphibians or reptiles," I generally tell people. "Not for ethical reasons. I'm a total jerk."