As my little brother watches on

Since my sister is busy in South Africa having $4,000 surgeries on her neck to determine why it has swollen up and is now causing her an excruciatingly large amount of pain, it would seem as though I have taken over her role as resident alcoholic (for as long as I am at my parents house.. Which is one more day). I'm not going to lie to you - I am drunk right now. I imbibed two and a half mickeys of rum, and then for good measure I finished off a big bottle of peach schnapps... All while my brother sat next to me watching a movie. I know. I know.. It's not healthy.. But I have a really poor justification for it all. You see, internet, I keep a certain amount of liquor at my parent's house so that it is always on hand in case I need it for something. When I came home this trip I realized that my father had been dipping into my stash of liquor. Since I had no need to take it with me back to school (I already have a full bar there just for the occasions that my friends ask me to mix them a drink), I decided that it would be a super great idea just to drink it all so that it wasn't there for him to drink. I can't really tell you why I thought this was a good idea. I can only assure you that, at the time, it seemed like a really great way to teach my father a lesson. Obviously it will teach him nothing at all, as me becoming inebriated rarely teaches anyone a lesson... Except maybe the elderly, who should learn not to be out so late or else they run the risk of being flashed. But seriously, at this point in time it would seem that driving home tomorrow may not be the best idea as a killer hangover is most certainly headed in my direction. Please forgive any spelling mistakes/things that do not make sense in the post.. I don't actually read over them when I'm sober, so editing when I am drunk is out of question.
It serves me right for getting drunk in front of my little brother...



I am an impulsive shopper, to say the least. I see things. I want things. I buy things. Or at least I used to, back in the days when I could afford to spend money. During my first year of University I decided it would be an awesome idea to buy a home pregnancy test. Why? I don't really know. I think I thought that it would be funny to have for when people went through the medicine cabinet in our bathroom. Everyone knows that people look through your stuff when they use your bathroom, so I really wanted to give them something to think about while they were in there. Later on, our collection of "stuff in medicine cabinet for shock value" grew to include a party pack of condoms and a douche. But this post is not about a giant pack of condoms, or a product to fix womanly odor problems. No. This post is about the evening I bought my home pregnancy test. I, shockingly, came up with the idea when I was looking at the display of tampons right next to the home pregnancy tests. The idea popped into my head and the next thing I knew I was scanning to see which one was the cheapest, and grabbing it off the shelf to stick in my shopping kart. Upon checking out, my friends made sure to reference the pregnancy test as many times as they could. "If you could keep your legs close this would not be a problem." one would say, while the other would nod in agreement. The checkout boy (man?) looked embarrassed, and hid the pregnancy test away in a bag as quickly as he could. I smiled to myself for some unknown reason, and entered my pin number to pay for the groceries. What I did not expect was the alarm to sound as I was leaving the store.
The mortified clerk rushed over and said to me in a hushed voice "I think it is your medicine."
"My medicine?" I questioned, and looked to my friend to see if she could offer any clarification. She shook her head, and then it dawned on me. "Oh, you mean my pregnancy test." I briefly wondered if I should take the time to explain to the clerk that a pregnancy test is not a form of medication. It does nothing to clear up a bad case of pregnancy. No matter how many times you take one, the pregnancy is not going to go away. I decided that it wasn't worth the trouble. The clerk scrambled, pregnancy test in hand, back to his checkout lane to pass it over that magical device that disables the alarm triggering tag and then hurried back to me to hand it over. "Thank you." I told him. "I've got to get home now to use my medicine." I explained, as I walked out the door.
I see the same clerk pretty much every time I go to buy groceries. His name is Corey, and since that fateful day he has even asked me out on a date. I can only assume this is because he thinks I am more likely to put out due to the whole "medicine" incident. Each time he sees me approach the check out lane, he smiles to himself. I can only hope that he never knocks a girl up because he will be awfully disappointed with the results of the "medicine".


The World is Frozen

I took my dog for a walk today and got in slightly over my head. Sometimes snow is deeper than it looks. I realized this when half of my leg suddenly disappeared into a mound of white death. The dog loved it, of course, as he was able to submerge himself almost completely in the snow. The only sign that I even actually had a dog with me was the wisp of black fur that broke through the surface of the snow, attached to a furiously wagging tail.
It was surprisingly warm out. My cheeks were still rosy, but the feeling remained in all of my extremities.
Here are some pictures I took along the way...

The last one is of the fishing shacks on the lake. There are far less this year than there were last year, but that is probably due to the fact that for the longest time the lake remained unfrozen.


"Grab hold of her ears!" I urged, "Use them to steer!"
My friends sat in front of me, working out the semantics of doubling up on a crazy carpet while laying flat on their stomachs. Somehow, hurling your body down a steep incline is oddly appealing to University students as well as young children. I stood there, freezing, watching as time and time again my friend performed increasingly complex takes on the traditional act of sledding.
"Let's go over that jump standing up on the mat while facing each other!" They would shout with glee. "Megan! Come get on this mat with us! We will do it with three people!" Each time I would shake my head and decline their offer. I have found that I can only tempt fate so far before it rears its angry head to bite me in the ass. So I stood there and watched in awe, all the while losing more and more feeling in my extremities, at the sheer happiness that exuded from my companions.
It is easy to forget what a joy being alive is. Sometimes it takes hurling yourself down a hill before you remember all that sage-like knowledge you once possessed as a child. Sometimes you just have to forget about mid-terms.. or papers.. or bills.. or mortgages and just risk dying a little so that you can remember how to live.