My dog went on a bender this weekend and was so hungover this morning that he had to wear sunglasses all day.
That says a lot because he mostly stays inside my room and my room is pretty dark as it is. His drinking is getting pretty bad. The cat and I are thinking of staging an intervention.
I am not 100% sure what his reasons for hitting the bottle are, but I am guessing that it has something to do with depression.
It's been a mixture of intense rain and snow for the past week and I haven't been able to take him out for his daily 5 km walk. I tried to cheer him up by playing a new game I created called "Eat all the fruit that I don't like from the container of fruit I bought at the grocery store", but he still just mopes around, occasionally crying.
I, on the other hand, was overjoyed today when I realized that my cat was physically capable of giving people the finger.Now that I know he is able, I just need to train him to actually do it. Imagine.. A cat who gives people the finger on command. I do not think life could get any better than that...


It's Election Day!

Does anybody else feel almost like it's Christmas all over again? Today is full of magical possibilities... OR bitter disappointment and fear for where our country is headed. It shocks me that not everybody is as enthusiastic about voting as I am. How can you not be excited to vote? Students (a.k.a. my peers) leave me with a overwhelming sense of disappointment. Today I saw a statistic that said only 25% of people ages 18 to 24 vote. It is not like voting is particularly strenuous. We're not being asked to a run a marathon here. It is really simple, trust me. It's almost idiot proof. You go to the place where you're supposed to vote, you give them your name, and then you walk behind the little cardboard booth they have set-up and you make an 'X' in the circle next to the candidate you want to vote for. I do not know about all of you, but I learned how to write an 'X' before I was even in kindergarten.
Today, I plan to ensure that all of my friends, every last one of them, head down to the polls and cast their votes. I couldn't wait this long to vote, and did it last Saturday instead. It was awesome. I didn't even have to wait in line or anything.
But seriously... you can't complain about the way your country is being run if you can't even be bothered to take a half an hour out of your day to put your two cents in.
In closing, whether you win or lose, Jack Layton, I still want to bear your children (assuming that Olivia Chow gives us her blessing).


Go figure....

I'm considering hiring a small crowd of people to wait outside of my bathroom and cheer every time I have a regular bowel movement. I'll either give them the thumbs up or thumbs down, and if all my efforts prove fruitless they will console me and say comforting words like "Don't worry, I'm sure next time will be better." or "I have a feeling tomorrow is the day!"

In other news, I have been instructed by the veterinarian to give the dog Metamucil. Apparently, he is not getting enough fiber in his diet and is having trouble passing stool. Super. So my dog is constipated, too. We can bond early in the morning as I drink a glass of "Smooth, orange flavor" Metamucil, and he somehow ingests his.
Metamucil is gross, and I have learned that you should drink it as quickly as possible otherwise it gets thick and gelatinous.. And there's nothing better than ingesting something that looks a whole lot like slime.