Fart Tones

On Thursday, I changed most of the ringtones on a co-worker's cell phone to farts.

My intention was to change all of the profiles on her phone so that, no matter what type of transmission she was receiving (text or phone call), it would be a fart that would sound to let her know something was happening.

Later that day, she approached another co-worker in a state of confusion.

"I think my phone just farted," she told her. After several minutes of intense discussion, they proceeded to call me and question me about my possible involvement. "Watch," my confused co-worker said, "call my phone right now." And I did, using my own cell phone. The beauty of it was that, in my rush to change all ringtones and alerts to farts before I could be discovered, I had failed to get to all of the profiles. As a result of this, when I called her phone it simply rang normally.

"I don't get it," she said. "I swear that I heard a fart sound coming from it before. I don't know why it's not doing it now."

She spent the rest of the day staring at her phone suspiciously. Later she approached me and said, "I think it might not have been my phone after all. I think it might have been the woman in the cubicle next to mine farting."

My hope is that the phone continues to fart only intermittently so that my coworker approaches me to seek my advice on what the issue may be. "You probably have a virus," I will tell her. "You should talk to IT about it immediately." And then she will take her phone to IT and explain to them that she has contracted a virus that is causing her phone to fart.