5/08/2008

I am not high

Okay, that is a lie. I am a little high. Or a lot high. Maybe medium sized high.
My parents went out of town for a funeral this weekend and I decided it was the perfect time to break in my new bong. Also, I tend to clean when I am stoned and I thought, since the house was looking a little dirty, that it may just be the incentive I needed to tackle some housework. Really, if you think about it, I am doing my parents a favour by partaking in recreational drug use. I am being completely selfless; thinking only of others. Sacrificing my own personal well-being for the sake of the family.
About twenty minutes ago, while laying down on my bed, I accidentally stuck my big toe in the top of my bong - which was resting on my floor. About five minutes later I would forget this and proceed to stick my mouth where my toe had just been. I should probably mention that I'd been outside just minutes before, barefoot, trudging through god knows what. On this trip outdoors I encountered a snake. Screaming, I briefly looked behind me to see if the dogs would come to my rescue, which, of course, they would not. When I looked back, the snake was gone. 
I spent the next twenty minutes standing there debating whether or not I had actually seen any snake to begin with. "But marijuana does not make people hallucinate," I tried to reason. When the snake did finally make its reappearance, I pointed and yelled at it. "I knew it! I knew it!" I screamed. "You are real! You do exist!" My screaming was quickly interrupted when the snake started to slither towards me. It was at this point in time that I squealed and ran into the house, tripping up the stairs as I went.

3 comments:

Jenn said...

It always amazes me how coherent you are when you are high.

Megan said...

It's not just when I'm high. I am pretty good a staying intelligible when I am drunk too. I am not going to lie though, it takes me four or five times longer to write something when I am under the influence of drugs or alcohol than it does when I am sober. It also helps that my computer, no matter what program I am running, automatically underlines anything that is spelt wrong.

Joe K-M said...

In the prolific words of Jim Morrison, ride the snake, ride the snake, the ancient snake, to the lake baby. The snake he's long. 7 miles. He's old. And his skin is cold.

....

the West is the BEST!
ride the snake