5/08/2008

I am not high

Okay, that is a lie. I am a little high. Or a lot high. Maybe medium sized high.
My parents went out of town for a funeral this weekend and I decided it was the perfect time to break in my new bong. Also, I tend to clean when I am stoned and I thought, since the house was looking a little dirty, that it may just be the incentive I needed to tackle some housework. Really, if you think about it, I am doing my parents a favour by partaking in recreational drug use. I am being completely selfless; thinking only of others. Sacrificing my own personal well-being for the sake of the family.
About twenty minutes ago, while laying down on my bed, I accidentally stuck my big toe in the top of my bong - which was resting on my floor. About five minutes later I would forget this and proceed to stick my mouth where my toe had just been. I should probably mention that I'd been outside just minutes before, barefoot, trudging through god knows what. On this trip outdoors I encountered a snake. Screaming, I briefly looked behind me to see if the dogs would come to my rescue, which, of course, they would not. When I looked back, the snake was gone. 
I spent the next twenty minutes standing there debating whether or not I had actually seen any snake to begin with. "But marijuana does not make people hallucinate," I tried to reason. When the snake did finally make its reappearance, I pointed and yelled at it. "I knew it! I knew it!" I screamed. "You are real! You do exist!" My screaming was quickly interrupted when the snake started to slither towards me. It was at this point in time that I squealed and ran into the house, tripping up the stairs as I went.

3 comments:

Jenn said...

It always amazes me how coherent you are when you are high.

Megan said...

It's not just when I'm high. I am pretty good a staying intelligible when I am drunk too. I am not going to lie though, it takes me four or five times longer to write something when I am under the influence of drugs or alcohol than it does when I am sober. It also helps that my computer, no matter what program I am running, automatically underlines anything that is spelt wrong.

Anonymous said...

In the prolific words of Jim Morrison, ride the snake, ride the snake, the ancient snake, to the lake baby. The snake he's long. 7 miles. He's old. And his skin is cold.

....

the West is the BEST!
ride the snake