FYI: Every other post from here on out will somehow involve babies

"Your baby just gave me the finger," I said flatly.
"No, he didn't. My baby does not know how to give someone the finger," she'd said. "He doesn't even know that his hands are attached to his body yet."
"Lies. Just look at him right now! His middle finger is clearly extended towards me!" I'd exclaimed. 
She took a moment to look over towards her son before rolling her eyes at me. 
"Babies do not know how to give people the finger," she'd sighed. 
"I just think it's unfair that your baby is free to be as uncouth as he desires and yet I have to put twenty-five cents into a jar every time I let the f-bomb slip in his presence. That is practically my favourite word and you've taken it away from me. If I had a baby, I would totally let you swear in front of it. Actually, I would charge you twenty-five cents every time you didn't swear in front of my baby," I told her. 
I then took a minute to glare at the baby. He was leaning back casually in his car seat with one hand resting casually behind his head and the other extended straight out towards me, flipping the bird. 


Accidentally Me said...

That baby is an asshole! And as long as its mother apologizes for its behavior, it will just continue to be more and more of an asshole until it grows up to be Paris Hilton.

So yes, that mother just pushed her baby one day closer to making a widely published sex-tape.

Jallápenno said...

babies ARE so rude. my baby gives me the finger all the time. it can't be coincidence that it's always the middle finger that's extended. I think there's a lot more going on with babies than we give them credit for.