An Ode to Hudson

I hold these moments close to me because I know how few of them we have left. You, dog, passed your expiration date years ago. I am not sure anyone thought to tell you though. Not that you would have listened to them anyway, stubborn as you are. Each time I return home, from any place I've gone, the first thing I do is check to make sure you're still breathing. When I see your chest rise and fall, I let out a sigh of relief because, for now, I can ignore the impending grief. For now, I have a chance to redeem myself for being short with you and forgetting that you really are such an old, old guy. I would say that you don't mean to be so demanding or defiant, but we both know you do. You always have. I was specifically warned about it on the day that we met. "This one's a bit much. Are you sure you want him?" I said yes, and I don't regret a minute of it. Well... maybe I do regret the two times you pooped in my car, but I don't regret a minute of it other than that. Probably. 

You made me work for every win. You reminded me to always be an optimist because, if someone opens the cabinet enough times, eventually it will be to get a treat out. You remind me that there is such thing as unconditional adoration, and even the best of us can get caught up in the excitement... in the promise of peanut butter or cheese or snow. You remind me that, sometimes, there is nothing better than rolling in the grass and kicking your feet up in the air. 

To think that the sound of your snore will soon be a memory... that your fur on my clothes will trigger heartbreak instead of annoyance... that, soon, I will be kicking myself for all the times I didn't appreciate you in the now. I miss being able to take you for granted. 

Goodbyes are hard, and we've had a great run. But you'll have to excuse me for being greedy for as much time as I can get with you. You're tired though. I get it. And there's s omething to be said for leaving them wanting more. You weren't always good, but you were always exaclty what I needed... except, again (and I cannot stress this enough), the two times you pooped in my car. I did not ever need that. But I digress.. you are a great dog, and, for whatever time I still have you, I will do my best to make sure you know it.