Looking back on it, I think I may have been an odd child. Ninth grade gym class required the creation of a dance routine. Why? I am not entirely sure. Born leader that I am, I told my group of four other girls that we would reenact a scene from the motion picture The Full Monty. Of course, we left the nudity to the professionals (which one member of the group would later become).
I followed up my highly successful ninth grade dance routine with my ever memorable Risky Business-themed routine of tenth grade. It involved underwear, dress shirts, socks, and a whole lot of sliding across the wooden gym floor.

"The Canada Revenue Agency is scrambling to fix a computer glitch that is preventing people from filing online tax returns and it could effect you, too." The TV anchorman announced.
"I really don't understand how Canadian tax returns could effect U2," she said.
I paused for a minute, making sure I had heard her right. "Did you really just say that?" I asked.

"I bet you rode the short bus to school, didn't you?" he laughed.
"I did ride the short bus to school. What are you getting at?"
"Are you serious? I was just joking. You really went to school on the special bus?"
"Not the special bus, the mini-bus. My bus driver's name was Prim" I explained.
"Awwwww, muffin."
"I don't understand. What is so funny? For three years, I took the mini-bus to elementary school." By this point in time, I was beyond confused.
"Everyone knows that only the mentally challenged children ride the short bus to school." I narrowed my eyes at him in an effort to show him my contempt.
"My elementary school only had three developmentally challenged children: Amanda, Andrew, and Jessica. They were all in wheelchairs and I used to play with them at recess."
"I'm sure you did."
"I just want you to know that I am going to kill you in your sleep tonight" I told him.

There are surprisingly few things to do as you wait, with your parents, for a tow truck to come pick up your vehicle. My mom spent most of our hour long wait glaring at me when, after voicing her need for a bathroom, I directed her towards an open field.


K. Restoule said...

Those judgmental Teachers. They made me take a special reading class because I stuttered a bit back then. At least I never had to take the Special Ed bus. I have this thing against sitting in someone else's drool.

Jay said...

This is like....a buffet of good blogness.

Winston said...
This comment has been removed by the author.