12/17/2006

Jesus was a sailor

I do not remember my first kiss.
I realized this as I sat in the car next to my friend Nina and listened to her talk about the loss of innocence that comes with aging. "Remember when it wasn't about sex? When there was no pressure? Everything was so much more exciting then. Everything was so much more intense,” she said.
Of course, she was right. Nina is always right.
I tried to remember a time when things were that innocent, and, while I can come up with a few instances now, at the time I could not think of one.
Is it wrong to want to return to that time? Just the idea of holding hands was enough to make your heart pound inside of your chest and threaten to explode. I cannot seem to remember a kiss that was not laced with an ulterior motive. A way to get from point A to point B.
Cosmo told me that if you do not sleep with a guy by the third date he will start to lose interest. While I have never considered Cosmo to be the authority on anything, it terrifies me that this could be true.

2 comments:

Jenny said...

I think that probably is true for many guys, or for many adults in general, but I have to hold out some hope anyway. There have to be some sweet and decent guys left out there, guys who value women for more than just sex, who place value on real emotional intimacy. Wow. Just typing it makes me doubt it. This is discouraging.

Dunzo said...

First of all fuck Cosmo.

Second, there are people who are varying degrees of old fashioned in this world. I don't mean to call you old fashioned since 1) I don't know you and 2) it seems to have become an insult but I was thinking about this today myself. The innocence you refer to is somewhere out there.

Good luck finding it!