Realistically they will learn nothing

I watched quietly as two punk-assed kids took sticks and wrote their names in the freshly poured sidewalk in front of my house. MY sidewalk. They marred its beautiful, virgin surface with their names followed by "bitch".. you know.. because they're just that cool. So cool, in fact, that they feel the need to deface city property so that they can take their friends by it and show them exactly how cool they are. If a sidewalk says your name then you must be cool, right?
I decided to take it upon myself to teach them a lesson. I waited until they had left and then proceeded to write "sucks" underneath their names. It was not one of my most mature moments, but I still stand by my actions. Now when they come back - friends in tow - to show off their work, they will find my special gift to them. And maybe, just maybe they will take a lesson away with them.
So in closing, don't deface sidewalks. You make them less aesthetically pleasing. It ruins them. And if you do decide to deface sidewalks, make damn sure to stay next to that sidewalk until the cement dries or else....


phil said...

Hehe. Quite a stroke of luck that I stumbled upon your blog and a nearly had the same thing happen last week.

I was on my porch and noticed some ah...hoodlums marking the street. I had just come home from the gym and was dressed in nothing but a wife beater -- a bit intimidating to others I suppose as I'm quite larger than most.

So I just stood at the edge of the driveway, staring at the kids until they looked up, shifted ackwardly, then left without having completed their art.

So I felt your pain. And savoured in your victory.

(Sorry if I'm weirding you out. Just stumbled across your blog and felt I should make a comment)

Tim said...

Perhaps if you catch them doing this next time, you can make them stand there until the cement dries, then call their parents . . .

Megan said...

I would like to do that. Is it bad that I already know I am destined to be the crazy old lady neighbour?

Dunzo said...

I had this girlfriend from high school who visited me at college my first year. We wrote out names in a sidewalk. It said "my name" heart "her name". How true it was. She left me a year later and I haven't been the same since. I'm so glad to be out of that town where our names are still etched into the cement. I remember stumbling onto it more than once in drunken stupors usually.

I was lucky to graduate!