3/03/2006

What ever happened to knocking?

Who needs friends when you have a neighbour who is missing his front teeth and seems oblivious to things such as over staying his welcome. No. Wait. Over staying ones welcome would imply that one was welcome in the first place. No, crazy toothless neighbour just walks into the house. Leaving the front door unlocked is welcome enough for him. Crazy toothless neighbour does endearing things like smoking in the house. Things that none of your "guests" have ever done before because most "guests" think to ask if you mind. Crazy toothless neighbour's eyes never leave your breasts while engaging in conversation, even if he is the only one doing the talking. He stares at your breasts intently, in a more than slightly unnerving way, as if they hold all the secrets of the universe. You look down at your breasts. Nope. The only thing they seem to be saying is that the house is a touch on the cold side. The dog saunters into the room and sits down for a moment, looking crazy toothless neighbour over to determine if he is a threat. He tilts his head to one side as he appraises him. Unsure, the dog decides that it is in the best interest of the household to plop himself down by your side. Crazy toothless neighbour fails to notice this ordeal, still trying to communicate telepathically with your breasts. You look down at them, once again, to see if they might have transformed into something significantly more interesting while you weren't paying attention. Nope. Still just breasts. After several more minutes (hours?) chalked full of awkwardness, crazy toothless neighbour decides it is time to leave - or at least that is what he tells your breasts right before he turns around and walks out the door. The dog trails after him, ensuring that be does not change his mind at the last minute. Once crazy toothless neighbour closes the front door behind himself, the dog turns around and stares at you, unblinking, until you hurry to the front door and turn the lock. You can't decide if crazy toothless neighbour is one of the reasons you love this city, or hate it.

1 comment:

sra said...

If nothing else, the rampant crazies that seem to pop into parties and households in K-W quite adequately prepared me for the crazies on Toronto's streets. Actually, Toronto's crazies have so far been much less imposing.