I am starting a new project. I am calling it, "Rank Male Members of Parliament From Most Attractive to Least Attractive."
If you would like to put in your two cents, visit this page, look at some photos and tell me what you think.
What do I hope to accomplish by doing this? Absolutely nothing, but I feel like this may be the greatest achievement of my life.
10/28/2009
10/22/2009
Fitting
Google Webmaster Tools tells me that the 97th most common keyword on my site is "transvaginal."
10/10/2009
An Ode to my Purple Rubber Boots
From your soft, soft lining, to your deep, rich colour; you are perfect for me, purple rubber boots.
Do I wish you came up slightly higher on my calfs? Yes, I do, but I accept you the way you are.
I am good like that.
If I did not think it would be creepy, I would spend my days stroking your exterior, staring lovingly at my own reflection in the sheen of your rubbery surface. "Never change," I would whisper - to myself or you, I do not know.
You make me want to be a better person. I will be a better person. For you, purple rubber boots, all for you.
Do I wish you came up slightly higher on my calfs? Yes, I do, but I accept you the way you are.
I am good like that.
If I did not think it would be creepy, I would spend my days stroking your exterior, staring lovingly at my own reflection in the sheen of your rubbery surface. "Never change," I would whisper - to myself or you, I do not know.
You make me want to be a better person. I will be a better person. For you, purple rubber boots, all for you.
10/04/2009
I tell it like it is
"We are supposed to be best friend-like, and yet I see Canadian rock stars more than I see you. I am not even kidding about this. I have spent more time with the Canadian rock star this past month than I have with you. And he definitely corresponds with me via e-mail more than you ever have."
"Are you serious?" she asked.
"Yes," I said somberly, "I would never lie about my correspondences with Canadian rock stars. He even sends me little encouraging e-mails throughout the week letting me know that I have done a good job. Well, he sends the team encouraging e-mails, but every so often there are some that are just sent to me. He knows that I have a low self-esteem and need reassurance."
"I did not realize that you were such a high maintenance friend," she said.
"I can be, yes. But this is not high maintenance. This is just me saying, 'Hey, send me an e-mail once a month to let me know that you are still alive,' and 'If we have tentative plans and you no longer feel like going out it is okay, but send me a text message that says 'no' so that I can go do something else instead of waiting for you.'"
"That doesn't sound too difficult," she replied.
"It's not. You are just kind of a douche."
"Are you serious?" she asked.
"Yes," I said somberly, "I would never lie about my correspondences with Canadian rock stars. He even sends me little encouraging e-mails throughout the week letting me know that I have done a good job. Well, he sends the team encouraging e-mails, but every so often there are some that are just sent to me. He knows that I have a low self-esteem and need reassurance."
"I did not realize that you were such a high maintenance friend," she said.
"I can be, yes. But this is not high maintenance. This is just me saying, 'Hey, send me an e-mail once a month to let me know that you are still alive,' and 'If we have tentative plans and you no longer feel like going out it is okay, but send me a text message that says 'no' so that I can go do something else instead of waiting for you.'"
"That doesn't sound too difficult," she replied.
"It's not. You are just kind of a douche."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
