One of Hudson's favourite things to do, other than urinating in my apartment, is taking my dirty underwear from wherever it may be resting and chewing on it. His evil puppy teeth easily pierce through the sensible cotton (or at least 95% of my underwear is made up of sensible cotton), creating ventilation I did not ask for or want.
My biggest problem with this is that underwear, for me at least, is a very finite resource. I only have a handful of pairs that I actually enjoy wearing. And because I have a tendency to do laundry somewhat infrequently, I like having a large number of underwear so that I do not run out of fresh pairs. The puppy choosing to snack on my drawers is really starting to have a negative impact on how I live my life.
"Maybe you should watch the puppy better and make sure he does not get the underwear in the first place," you may be saying to yourself. And I say shove it. I do watch the puppy, mostly. But he is like a mother fucking ninja (without the mother fucking part or the years of training required to be an actual ninja). That bastard is sneaky. And he is quiet (when he wants to be). I think he is right next to me, and it turns out that he is two rooms over quietly destroying precious family heirlooms. I mean, that example has never actually happened, but it is supposed to express to you that this dog is serious about his covert attempts to ruin lives via the destruction of my underwear.
I am hoping that he grows out of this phase as I do not really want to have to add "replacement underwear" as a line on my monthly budget.
My biggest problem with this is that underwear, for me at least, is a very finite resource. I only have a handful of pairs that I actually enjoy wearing. And because I have a tendency to do laundry somewhat infrequently, I like having a large number of underwear so that I do not run out of fresh pairs. The puppy choosing to snack on my drawers is really starting to have a negative impact on how I live my life.
"Maybe you should watch the puppy better and make sure he does not get the underwear in the first place," you may be saying to yourself. And I say shove it. I do watch the puppy, mostly. But he is like a mother fucking ninja (without the mother fucking part or the years of training required to be an actual ninja). That bastard is sneaky. And he is quiet (when he wants to be). I think he is right next to me, and it turns out that he is two rooms over quietly destroying precious family heirlooms. I mean, that example has never actually happened, but it is supposed to express to you that this dog is serious about his covert attempts to ruin lives via the destruction of my underwear.
I am hoping that he grows out of this phase as I do not really want to have to add "replacement underwear" as a line on my monthly budget.
2 comments:
I'm so sorry Megan, but I had to laugh. Your post gave me a great visual! lol
Fingers crossed your little ninja isn't an undie chewer for long :)
Tracey
xo
Post a Comment