Born to screw

I built a fence today, while hungover no less. The fence was required to keep my suicidal dog away from the road. It's not finished yet, of course (I had a really busy day), but it will be tomorrow.
Let me just tell you one thing.
I screw amazingly well. If they gave out medals in screwing, I would have one. If there is one thing I would like people to remember about me, it would be that I loved to screw. I put all of my heart and soul into screwing, and once I was finished I was sweaty, dirty, and had no idea how much time had passed. My dad even took note of this.
"Wow, you really like to screw." He said, "And you're pretty good at it, too."
"What can I say?" I responded, "I was born to screw."
I often talk to people about screwing, and my love for it. I tell them how I want people to hear my name in passing and say, "Oh, you mean Megan? Jesus Christ, she could screw. She would screw all day and night if she were able. If I was looking to screw.. I'd want it to be Megan with me."
I used a few two inch screws today as well. You know what they say... There's nothing like a good long screw.
It's true. It really is.