Vacation

As a birthday gift to myself, I decided to take a trip to Florida. Alone.

I would answer to no one. Follow nothing but my own whims. I would wake up when I wanted to. I would go to sleep when I felt like it and do absolutely nothing but what I felt like.

But that got old after the first day of my trip. Not the sleeping part, I am a big fan of that.

Now I find myself at a loss as to what to do. So I have been spending my afternoons reading borderline-erotica on my new Kindle Fire and drinking Walmart wine that only cost one dollar! ONE DOLLAR!

To answer your unspoken question: yes, it is hard being this classy.

Funny, but lacking foresight.

"What can I help you with this evening?" the customer service representative asks.

"I forgot what my password is and I accidentally locked myself out of my account online. I need to reset the password now," I explain.

"That shouldn't be a problem. Can I just get your full name and your date of birth?"

Naturally, I supply the correct answers and wait for the next step in the password reset process. And that is when I hear it. Laughter. From the customer service representative.

"Oh, no," I sigh. "I made the security question, 'If you don't remember your password, you are in trouble.' Didn't I?"

"You sure did," the customer service representative replies. "It must be something that you use all of the time. Do you want me to send a temporary password to your email account?" she asks.

"Yes, please. I do this all the time. I think I need to start writing things down."

"That might be wise. There. You should receive a temporary password within five minutes. Is there anything else that I can help you with?" she asks.

"No, that is all. Thank you very much for your help."

And so ends my password troubles. I can now submit my claim for contact lenses. My life is complete. 

The evolution of an underwear thief

Since his arrival into my life, the puppy has destroyed no fewer than 20 pairs of my underwear. It just seems to be his thing. He finds underwear and he chews on it until it is barely recognizable. To be fair, I did need to invest in new underwear anyway, but it would have been nice if I had done so of my own accord instead of out of sheer necessity. In addition to underwear, other things he has chewed include: slippers purchased for me from India, socks, Ikea stand, towels, paper towels, toilet paper rolls, plastic containers, other dogs, slippers and potatoes.

I will now, in no particular order, post several photos of Hudson that I have taken in the seven months that we have been roommates.