The last sentence of this post is a keeper.

I am jobless, Interweb. 

Actually, that's not entirely true. I have held multiple jobs for over a year now and currently am technically part-time employed. And I am also doing freelance work. 

Is it weird that telling people I do freelance works makes me tingly in my pants? I should probably specify that it is freelance marketing/public relations work and not freelance prostitution. And isn't all prostitution freelance anyway? 

Do you know what is worse than being jobless? I will tell you: being bored. If I were not bored, I would not care quite so much that I am jobless - rather full-time jobless. I would be too busy doing fun things to think about how, even though I am making monthly payments, I am not really paying back any of my loans. 

I cannot tell if I have only myself to blame for being full-time jobless or if I can try to blame extenuating circumstances. While still in school, my classmates and I were told that we should be applying for upwards of twenty jobs a week if we were serious about becoming employed. Well, I feel fairly serious about becoming employed (albeit not serious enough to truly revamp my resume), but I cannot find upwards of twenty jobs that I am qualified for in month. At least, I cannot find twenty jobs a week that I look qualified for on paper.

So how do I spend my free time? I will tell you. I have staring contests with my dog. I send a lot of text messages and e-mails, obsessively, to friends. I run. I play on the computer. Also, I spend a lot of time touching myself. 


How I spend my Saturday mornings

I hate running. 
Hate it.
So it made perfect sense that I would pay approximately $120 to join a running group that meets every Saturday morning at 7:30 a.m. Did I mention that the running group meets half an hour away from my house? I am mentioning it now. The running group meets at a location that is half an hour away from my house. This means that, in order to roll out of bed and be ready for running group, I need to wake up by 6:30 a.m. at the latest. 
Did I mention that I was instructed to eat something before running group and drink some water? I am mentioning it now. I was told to eat something before running group and drink at least one cup of water no less than one hour before I run. 
One hour before I run. 
This means that, if I am going to eat something, I need to eat it by 6:30 a.m. This in turn means that in order to have something prepared to eat by 6:30 a.m., I have to get up prior to 6:30 a.m. On a Saturday. 
So far I hate my running group. Each Saturday, I arrive at our meeting place and silently curse everyone in the group. I am smiling on the outside, but on the inside I am giving foul-mouthed sailors a run for their money. Each week we run further and further. First it was one kilometer, then three. Now it is five kilometers and soon it will be six. By the end of August, we will be up to ten kilometers, although we do have a twelve kilometer run to complete one day. 
I must secretly hate myself. Why else would I be doing this?