The Year in Review

For Christmas this year, I got a head cold and my period. My body really needs to work on its creativity because it gave me the exact same thing a month ago for my birthday. And don't even get me started about last week when, while at Best Buy, I suffered the aftermath of eating an entire jar of hot peppers.

My body and I are at odds these days. It is unhappy with me because I have been forcing it into doing things it is not inclined to do, like spend an hour on the exercise bike each day and walk 18 km just because I can.

But I digress...

This post is really my annual year in review. It is a tradition that I started in 2006 as a secret means of encouraging people to go back and read posts I had written that year that I found more funny than others.

I do not have much selection this year, so I suspect that it will be relatively easy to make the selections for many of the twelve months.


In January, I....

Started the new year off right and disclosed secret information about myself.

In February, I....
Was critical of those who celebrate "Valentine's day."

In March, I....
Found a new way to cope with nerves when giving oral presentations.

In April, I....
Met a little boy with an interesting imagination.

In May, I....
Told the Internet that I am an unemployed bum who touches herself. For the record, I am still unemployed, but I am touching myself less and less.

In June, I....
Ran a mother fucking race!

In July, I....
Prepared my brother for life at university.

In August, I....
Had some faulty logic.

In September, I....
Sent a loving message to a friend.

In October, I....
Gushed over hand dryers.

In November, I....
Got even older.

In December, I....
Mourned for my favourite Christmas tradition that is no more.


I did more stuff this year than that though, Internet. I helped raise over $300,000 for various charities. I won a scholarship. I graduated for the third time but attended a graduation ceremony for the first time. I applied for two grants to help my teenagers and was awarded both. I embarrassed my sister by informing some old Canadian rock stars that I am a sweaty person and could not lift my arms up too high when we went to hug because the pit stains I was sporting were not socially acceptable according to the aforementioned sister. I had business cards made. I finally renewed my passport and went to Florida. I even skinned my knee playing laser tag (I tripped and fell because I am THAT COOL).

What is in store for 2010? I do not know, Internet. Get off my back. I am not a freaking psychic. Jeez.

I am open to suggestions.