The last sentence of this post is a keeper.

I am jobless, Interweb. 

Actually, that's not entirely true. I have held multiple jobs for over a year now and currently am technically part-time employed. And I am also doing freelance work. 

Is it weird that telling people I do freelance works makes me tingly in my pants? I should probably specify that it is freelance marketing/public relations work and not freelance prostitution. And isn't all prostitution freelance anyway? 

Do you know what is worse than being jobless? I will tell you: being bored. If I were not bored, I would not care quite so much that I am jobless - rather full-time jobless. I would be too busy doing fun things to think about how, even though I am making monthly payments, I am not really paying back any of my loans. 

I cannot tell if I have only myself to blame for being full-time jobless or if I can try to blame extenuating circumstances. While still in school, my classmates and I were told that we should be applying for upwards of twenty jobs a week if we were serious about becoming employed. Well, I feel fairly serious about becoming employed (albeit not serious enough to truly revamp my resume), but I cannot find upwards of twenty jobs that I am qualified for in month. At least, I cannot find twenty jobs a week that I look qualified for on paper.

So how do I spend my free time? I will tell you. I have staring contests with my dog. I send a lot of text messages and e-mails, obsessively, to friends. I run. I play on the computer. Also, I spend a lot of time touching myself.