Just say 'no' to water sports

My sister sent me an e-mail today telling me to sign up for e-harmony.
"And why do you want me to sign up for e-harmony?" I asked her.
"It will be fun!" she replied.
So I started to fill out the online profile because I do as my sister tells me to.
"What did you rate yourself for attractive?" I asked.
"A five," she said "I wanted to be modest."
"Do you think a person who rated themselves a 1 (1 stands for "not at all") for 'attractiveness' and a 1 for 'have a high desire for sexual activity' would get many responses?" I wondered allowed.
"Oooh, tough call." my sister answered.
Later on I would come to a portion of the profile survey that would ask me if I enjoyed water sports. "Do they mean water sports as in water skiing, or am I going to check off 'very interested' and get a bunch of responses from people who want to pee on me?" Even if I had no intentions of developing a relationship with people online currently, I still do not want anyone thinking that I want someone to pee on me. I will specify here and now for all of the internet that I really would appreciate it if everyone would just not pee on me. I will also specify, in case my dad has decided to read this very entry, that I am not a coke head and that you should stop trying to tell people I am. I am a heroin addict. Big difference.


Dunzo said...

LOL! Your dad should ask you how the fuck you know that water sports mean peeing on you. That's hilarious!!!

Just last night, one of my housemates told me that people on eharmony lie a lot and that they all wanna get married immediately. Getting married eventually is fine but forget being lied to...that pisses me off.

P.S...Coke makes ya horny...

Megan said...

I think that my dad probably desires to have a don't ask don't tell relationship with me by now.